I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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