I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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