i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
