just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
