He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize