He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
