I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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