wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
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Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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