good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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