I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
