dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
