New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my shit smells like andre
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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