fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
