Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
