Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
