9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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