no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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