in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize