the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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