I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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