i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize