Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
