u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
