not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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