All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
