Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
