Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
