you're like a bully in the Christmas story
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So squirting runs in the family.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
