I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
