I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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