4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
