I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
