i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
