I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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