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I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
People with herpes should wear stickers.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
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