hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.