Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
