Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
