I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update