I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!