Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
