just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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