he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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