If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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