She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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