Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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