He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
