the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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