Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
