i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
