He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
