yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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