He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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