It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
