I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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