I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
pop tarts are not kleenex
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm just crazy horny about you
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
