After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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