Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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