i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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