If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
