you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk