Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
