Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
His nipple licking is glorious
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