Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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