if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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