Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
