Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
